If anyone had told me even twelve months ago that I would be deployed to remote Australia to be part of a fly in fly out (FIFO) workforce in an aged care facility, my response would have been, ‘No way’.
As I verbally uttered the mind’s excuses of lack of remote nursing experience, geographical isolation and my own resistance to leaving my comfortable life, I had the most amazing experience – my body was saying, ‘Yes’ at the same time as my voice was saying, ‘No’. Experiencing these two opposing responses simultaneously turned out to be a great gift to me and cracked what had been a barrier to stepping up instead of holding back in my nursing work.
I learnt on an undeniable level that the body communicates very differently to the mind and that it can’t fool us. What the body feels, just ‘is’. We all know what it feels like when we get a fright. Our body does not think about whether it will respond to the sudden unexpected event; there is an instant reaction. Whilst I had strong feelings to act in a certain way, this time I felt an internal ‘movement’ in my body and there was no question about my being obedient to it. I felt like the experience had already begun and I went about a practical process of getting myself where I was to go.
I find myself the next week, in a nursing home, far from home, working as a registered nurse for the first few days until the incumbent manager suddenly left and I was then the only person to step into her role. My first response was, ‘I’m not a facility manager, why would you put someone inexperienced in that role?’
This experience coincided with a change in service providers and the new management had no experience in aged care. The head office was a 6-hour drive away. It was Christmas week and only the finance manager was available for telephone support to a facility he had never seen. And… there happened to be a category one cyclone to add to the mix of new experiences. I was very appreciative that the manager of the company I work for was always available by phone and was a great support. A non-clinical manager was appointed from the new service providers to support with the transition and with my role.
The purpose of painting the above picture is simply to illustrate that whilst it may appear to be a challenging situation, my beliefs that I was not up to the job by virtue of my lack of experience or capability at this facility, at this time, were disproven many times a day. It was soon evident that my ‘real job’ during my first two weeks and a latter four-week stint in this Residential Aged Care Facility, was simply to hold my steadiness in the midst of change and instability.
My steadiness and consistency were needed so I could develop connections and trust with the staff, most of whom were anxious, uncertain, often angry and threatened by the enforced changes that were occurring. There were several FIFO workers in this new staffing regime and despite the fact that there were no other local clinical staff available, there were strong negative reactions from staff who believed we were going to take their jobs.
Back to my body. My days were long, there was much work to do. Every day I could feel the purpose of simply confirming the staff whilst calling out the unacceptable and unwanted behaviour and reassuring them that we were here to work together. Present in my body was an undeniable purpose for being there. There was chaos on an administrative level that required a step-by-step approach of making sure the basics were covered so food and supplies flowed in, reporting to the new service providers happened regularly, the residents received quality care and we had enough staff.
There are many stories I could tell about the day to day events that occurred in my six weeks as acting facility manager, however the irrefutable truth is that the purpose I felt in my body was always directed at doing what was unifying and healing for the staff and residents.
My job in a remote area that was in need of a facility manager had nothing to do with whether I thought I could do the job. The job was presented, and my insecurities were merely an excuse not to enter the movement that was already taking place. It was like joining the river flow. I had the opportunity to add my presence and qualities to the flow, or not. The river was not going to stop flowing. I learnt that whatever is happening on the surface and whatever my mind wants to tell, or torment me with, there is always a greater opportunity on offer. It is my choice whether I say yes to the expansion available or say yes to the comfortable and known moves that I make every day, therefore missing the opportunities available both for myself and for those who I worked with over the 6 weeks. My mind’s excuses were always self-indulgent and irresponsible compared to what I experienced by embracing the prospect of working purely in answer to the call of what was needed at the time.
