A moment to care and nurture – why do we need to take a moment to care and nurture?
Is it because we are tired, grumpy, no longer able to smile, lacking energy,
bereft of vitality, no longer enjoying our connection to those in our care, or are burnt out and feeling we have nothing to give, lacking patience for the many patients we are assigned to care for and support?
All these are warnings and red flags that something is awry and needs to change… all these reasons and any other can be very familiar and, taking a moment to care and nurture changes everything and it literally only needs to be a moment.
To nurture is to grow something providing the care so that it can flourish.
To stop
To breathe
To feel our feet
To connect to our delicate precious hands and fingertips
To apply hand cream
To open a window and connect to the fresh air and sunshine
To have a break and close our eyes for five minutes
To go the bathroom when our body calls and take the time needed to dry our hands
To walk with upright posture, spine to the sky and facing the front.
We can forever build on what works for us, caring for and nurturing ourselves is the catalyst for the return of our mojo and will spark the love we have for this spectacular and truly valuable role in nursing and/or midwifery. (Midwife, Australia)
A moment to nurture
Nurturing is not a word often used in nursing, not of another and most definitely not of one-self. We most often focus on basic care of the patient, though more recently there has been a defining focus on self-care. Care of one-self within the profession. ‘You can’t care for another if you don’t care for yourself’, has become a common catch-cry in our workplaces.
Nurturing hasn’t really had a look in, but I feel it to be one of the main reasons we take up nursing as a vocation. To nurture another, to heal, to rest and recuperate in order for them to then step back into actively living life in a way that is truly supportive of them, is a level deeper than care, it is a deep honouring of the person and the healing process.
However there is another important factor in this simple equation that we tend to forget and that is, you, me, ourselves.
Do we nurture ourselves?
When nurturing is attended to within ourselves first, naturally it cannot but support our patients, our colleagues, indeed all in our sphere of influence. All benefit and no one misses out. How I am with me affects how I am with others and in return how they are able to be with me and with themselves and their significant others. It is an ongoing unfolding and revelation. A deepening of love and nurturing care for me automatically translates to others.
So, nurturing begins with ourselves first.
I learnt this the hard way. Putting all others before me was proven time and again to never work and served to accelerate a breakdown into burnout and a distaste for my work and for people. For a significant period of time I went off people and nursing in a big way. I literally didn’t ‘care’ and had not one idea of the concept, let alone the application of nurturing. It wasn’t till I was awoken, by several key people in my life to the fact of my neglect of me being a primary factor in my demise, that changes were initiated and the caring and nurturing I began to value and place on myself first, naturally began to float out to others. It was simple common sense.
What is nurturing?
It goes beyond the functional aspects of nursing, the observations, the prep for operations, the making of a bed or the washing of someone’s face and hands, and brings us back again and again to one simple thing. The quality of how we are in the way we do each of those things.
I love to feel the quality of the connection I foster within myself now, and the way in which I attend to myself and my own daily activities dictates the quality of the connection I have to offer to another.
This simplest way to feel our quality is in the way we open or close a door, turn a tap on, apply a blood pressure cuff. In full presence with the person, the activity and with me. Observing as I work the quality of tenderness and respect within me and of my touch in all that I do. I matter, you matter, we all do.
It is a loving observation of how we are in any moment and not ignoring what is needed to support us throughout our day. Nurturing is common sense and a sure foundation, though it could also be termed ‘the icing on the cake’ as perversely, it is often the first thing to be let go of in the busy-ness of our work days.
When nurturing as the true foundation for loving care is included as a valued part of nursing, we are all enriched. (Nurse, New Zealand)
A moment to nurture… what does this mean?
As a health care practitioner this question has many facets. The word nurture for me would have, until recently, solely conjured up an outgoing activity; something that I have the ability to offer others, in my work, as a mother, a friend etc.
What I have come to realise is that without the complete all round of nurturing, that is, ensuring I am nurtured, what I give out will be limited by my capacity, fitness and health.
It has been at times an uncomfortable exercise, to accept that if I am run ragged, tired, dehydrated, overwhelmed or fed up, as a mother, midwife, friend, then I am not a great bank of nurturing for others. And for most of my life I was okay with being the bottom of the pile, with the slight scent of martyr, as I ‘cared’ for everyone else… so waking up to the fact that the wrung-out flannel trying to soothe another wasn’t true nurture or care was awkward. But. Entirely necessary.
And now? Forever learning and developing… I do take care of myself, prioritise rest, being attentive with diet, ensure I move and exercise in a way that supports my body and its ongoing fitness for all the riches of life, at home and work. And I listen to other people and the things they do and learn some more. (Midwife, UK)
